My first second Birthday: A year in Christ
It’s been a year since I first received Christ, the date was 29 October 2005. I was in school on a Thursday, in SMU GSR 3.10, when I thought,” Well, since Christianity does well for the world, why not?” I had no idea what I was getting myself into then, but boy, am I glad I made that decision. So it was that Saturday I went to church, and on at Boon Lay MRT, I asked Edwin,” Eh, I want to receive Christ, how to do?”. I remember I felt really uncomfortable about it, because it meant change, and well, we all are always apprehensive about change, aren’t we? And you could imagine the relief in my face when I found out I only needed to pray. Haha.
Well, I guess it was a divine appointment that Charis had heard me the Monday ( I think) after from GSR 3.9 blasting the church music. I was in GSR 3.10 and she came over and enquired,”Did I hear someone playing music?” (I had switched it off when she opened the door). And it was there that I told her I had received Christ the Saturday before, and she had brought me to her zone cell groups. It was that time when Meiyan’s cell groups were doing some re-arrangement because Charis just rose up to become a cell group leader and I was put under (Praise God!) Mingli’s care.
Well, fast forward to today. 29 October 2006. What a year it has been. I mean, what a year man. I’ve seen so much that eyes have not seen. Wow. How do I start? Looking back at the year has already awed me at how God works so evidently in my life. Even as I write this journal, I just want to take record of some of the things that I have learnt this year.
1. We are unique and special.
I think one of the greatest truths I have learnt and internalized is the fact that we are all created unique. God made us all different in one way or another. To each He gave a certain set of abilities and gifts. Society today says the same thing, but yet a mindset without a supporting core belief doesn’t work. What’s the point of believing you’re special when you don’t have a reason to believe so, but believe only because everyone says it’s the right thing to believe? This understanding a lot helped me see myself and people in a different light.
Firstly, it healed my insecurities, slowly but surely, because I learnt that God had a unique plan for each of our lives, and therefore in His eyes, each of us walks through a different path in their lives, and there’s no basis for comparison. Will the runner who’s ran 10 km turn and laugh at the swimmer who’s only done 3 km? This revelation took envy and jealousy out of my life; I used to be envious of people who made it big in their early days, be envious of people that could articulate themselves so perfectly, but today I look at them and smile; they have their strengths, and so do I. Inasmuch as the brain and the heart are different in every sense, but yet, they serve essential roles in the functioning of the body.
Secondly, because we’re all made different, we even grew up in different environments; at each point in time in our lives, we had something different to overcome; some set of difficulties we had to face that was unique to our lives. This understanding taught me to be more accepting of different people. Some people may be lazier, some more spoilt, some quieter, some not so articulate; but as I look at them from God’s eyes; and God says to each of us,” Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; I so loved the world I gave my Son.” Imperfect as each of us may be, yet the perfect God loves each and every one of us, and therefore I myself learning to be more loving, especially to people whom I find different. We’re all the imperfect and beautiful children of God.
2. Love
I believe that in this year alone, I have used the word ‘Love’ at least 100 times more than my whole life before I received Christ. I remember before I received Him into my life, I had heard so much of this,” What is love?” I had heard so much of it I was getting probably a little jaded about it. People saying that love is blind, love is what and what not. They should really just check the Bible out. In Greek, there are 3 words for the word love in English. Society probably talks most about the physically gratifying type of love; the eros love, but the type of love which the Bible talks about the most is agape love, which means sacrificial love.
Like all things, I have learnt that unless one receives love, one cannot give love. I found it to be very true in my life. I realized that because after a certain point in my life, I was shown love the ‘Asian’ way, which then caused a few problems in my life. But even now, as I received love freely from Him, I can give it freely. As my pastor says, these values of openly speaking love aren’t Western values, they’re Heaven’s values. Even as I write this, I can’t fully express how thankful I am for this breakthrough in my life.
Now even as I write this, things in my family is getting better. For the first few times in my life, I begin to communicate with my dad. Since we were Primary 5 or 6, all communication in the family broke down. Our communication was limited to my parents scolding, nagging and telling. I spoke to them occasionally, but there was totally no sharing. I don’t know why but I had this ‘defensive’ gear up when speaking to them. So even now, I’m beginning to share with my father through email, and him with me too. For the first time in my life, I heard my dad told me about his childhood days, which was a breakthrough by many miles. And now, him being his bad tempered self in the past is now slowly starting to communicate with us. I think it’s not easy for him either, considering so many years of scars, and mnay words that shouldn’t have been said. But in Him, one day my home will be heaven on Earth.
I love God. I love my church. I love my family. I love my cell group. I love my cell group leader. I love my friends. I love life. There’s no greater joy than to live in Him everyday. Dear Mingli, I think I’m feeling! Hahaha
3. Purpose
Before I entered the Church, I had a vague idea of what purpose was. I knew it as the thing that ‘you would do if you had all the money and time in the world’. I knew it as an important thing, for it was our reason for existing, and our reason for living, for it meant the difference between a fulfilled and joyful life, and a depressing and meaningless one. There was a problem for me though. Inasmuch as I understood the purpose of purpose, I didn’t know how to find out what my purpose was. The motivational ‘gurus’ I had read about told me to think up my own purpose.
But only recently did I realize this; If I don’t believe I had a Creator and was created for a reason, the question of purpose was meaningless. Even the famous psychologist, Sigmund Freud, said that a belief in the meaning of life rises and falls of a belief in God. He was an atheist. When I looked back, I realized how dumb I was. There was really no point in looking for the meaning of things if I had believed that life had no meaning.
This year with Him had helped me understand what life truly was about. I used to live feeling so uncertain and worried about the future, but today I can’t wait for the future! I used to look into the future with fear, but now I look with anticipation. I’m just so excited about what’s coming, and I look forward to the day where I can have complete understanding of what specific purpose I was brought here for. But till then, I prepare and I wait. Is life great or is life great? Or is life great? The answer to the question that has evaded all philosophers (the meaning of life) finds itself in a humble looking book called the Bible.
4. Paying the Price.
I had never received Christ in the belief that I’m supposed to be blessed materially after I believe in Him. If someone had actually told me that about Christ, I wouldn’t have believed him.
One thing I always knew about myself: My laziness will be my greatest obstacle to my success. Before I had known Him, I knew this fact, but I couldn’t do anything much about it. My feelings and inclinations were taking control of my life. I knew that great people were never subject to their feelings, but I still couldn’t do anything about it. Everyday, I would still laze around; I would spend excessive time playing games; I would give in to my cravings and spend unneeded money.
Even after I became a Christian, my feelings and my cravings still had power over me; but it was different this time round. Over time, I had grown spiritual muscles to fight them. I had more power over myself. I began to develop discipline, slowly but surely. Even as I write this, I have made a decision to stop playing certain games. I made a decision to not give in to my cravings. I’m not perfect yet, but everyday I try to the best I can. Praise God.
I believe one (I say one) of the reasons people don’t believe in Christ is because it requires paying a huge price. Christianity is a hard truth. Christ wants nothing less than all of us. He says we must give Him our full commitment. He says we must humble ourselves before Him. But to many, it’s too high a price to pay to believe, to commit, to let go of pride. Contrast it to some other beliefs, like some astral traveling thing I’ve heard about recently, people believe it easily: there’s no price to pay. It’s a ‘cool’ thing. I think I can be straight about this. It’s not easy being a follower of Christ; there’s a humongous price to pay; but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
5. Some misconceptions about Christianity.
Two misconceptions I’ve heard about Christianity is this:
a. God is a genie.
No one says this out loud, but I believe a lot of people actually believe that if a loving God exists, their every prayer, every wish should be granted. “God didn’t answer my prayer, therefore he probably doesn’t exist.” It sounds like the height of arrogance. It sounds like a spoilt child refusing to acknowledge his/her father because the father refuses to buy a toy for him/her. It sounds like childish rebellion. If your father loves you, he wouldn’t give you everything you want, because it’s him that knows what’s best for you.
b. Religion is where people run to when they’re desperate.
I have no say on religions, but that statement encompasses like 5% of what Christianity is about. It’s true; God is our refuge, but He isn’t only our refuge. I didn’t choose to believe because I needed a ‘support’ system somewhere. I’m not a believer now because I require some place to ‘anchor’ myself as a person. I am a believer now because I believe Christ to be the truth. It’s true that I can run to Him when I’m tired, when I’m down, but I’m not that stupid to believe in Him just because He provides some benefit to my emotional life. I’m more rational than that.
Even along this year, I’ve met this amazing person whom I want to take this time to honor now: My cell group leader. I remember I wrote a post about her some weeks back, but I just want to even take this time to thank her, for who she is. Mingli, you’re the best! I’ve seen so many leader wannabes in school. Among all of them, you’re not the smartest; you don’t look most the part, but hands down, you’re the best leader I’ve had. You’re extremely sharp, assertive and sensitive but above all, you’re loving. You’re the most perfect imperfect person I’ve had in such close proximity in my life. Haha. I’m truly blessed to have you as a spiritual leader.
Pastor always said the greatest miracle begins in the act of receiving Him into our lives, I never understood why. He always said,” Today when you receive Him, the greatest miracle is going to happen, your life will be transformed!” But when I look back today; I’ll never forget the day I received Him into my life; I’ll never forget the day that I attended my first cell group meeting; I’ll never forget the love. Truly, today I have seen the greatest miracle. My life is not some drama or some story worthy of the headlines in the papers. But nevertheless, my life is no less than a miracle. Life IS a miracle.
Well, I guess it was a divine appointment that Charis had heard me the Monday ( I think) after from GSR 3.9 blasting the church music. I was in GSR 3.10 and she came over and enquired,”Did I hear someone playing music?” (I had switched it off when she opened the door). And it was there that I told her I had received Christ the Saturday before, and she had brought me to her zone cell groups. It was that time when Meiyan’s cell groups were doing some re-arrangement because Charis just rose up to become a cell group leader and I was put under (Praise God!) Mingli’s care.
Well, fast forward to today. 29 October 2006. What a year it has been. I mean, what a year man. I’ve seen so much that eyes have not seen. Wow. How do I start? Looking back at the year has already awed me at how God works so evidently in my life. Even as I write this journal, I just want to take record of some of the things that I have learnt this year.
1. We are unique and special.
I think one of the greatest truths I have learnt and internalized is the fact that we are all created unique. God made us all different in one way or another. To each He gave a certain set of abilities and gifts. Society today says the same thing, but yet a mindset without a supporting core belief doesn’t work. What’s the point of believing you’re special when you don’t have a reason to believe so, but believe only because everyone says it’s the right thing to believe? This understanding a lot helped me see myself and people in a different light.
Firstly, it healed my insecurities, slowly but surely, because I learnt that God had a unique plan for each of our lives, and therefore in His eyes, each of us walks through a different path in their lives, and there’s no basis for comparison. Will the runner who’s ran 10 km turn and laugh at the swimmer who’s only done 3 km? This revelation took envy and jealousy out of my life; I used to be envious of people who made it big in their early days, be envious of people that could articulate themselves so perfectly, but today I look at them and smile; they have their strengths, and so do I. Inasmuch as the brain and the heart are different in every sense, but yet, they serve essential roles in the functioning of the body.
Secondly, because we’re all made different, we even grew up in different environments; at each point in time in our lives, we had something different to overcome; some set of difficulties we had to face that was unique to our lives. This understanding taught me to be more accepting of different people. Some people may be lazier, some more spoilt, some quieter, some not so articulate; but as I look at them from God’s eyes; and God says to each of us,” Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love; I so loved the world I gave my Son.” Imperfect as each of us may be, yet the perfect God loves each and every one of us, and therefore I myself learning to be more loving, especially to people whom I find different. We’re all the imperfect and beautiful children of God.
2. Love
I believe that in this year alone, I have used the word ‘Love’ at least 100 times more than my whole life before I received Christ. I remember before I received Him into my life, I had heard so much of this,” What is love?” I had heard so much of it I was getting probably a little jaded about it. People saying that love is blind, love is what and what not. They should really just check the Bible out. In Greek, there are 3 words for the word love in English. Society probably talks most about the physically gratifying type of love; the eros love, but the type of love which the Bible talks about the most is agape love, which means sacrificial love.
Like all things, I have learnt that unless one receives love, one cannot give love. I found it to be very true in my life. I realized that because after a certain point in my life, I was shown love the ‘Asian’ way, which then caused a few problems in my life. But even now, as I received love freely from Him, I can give it freely. As my pastor says, these values of openly speaking love aren’t Western values, they’re Heaven’s values. Even as I write this, I can’t fully express how thankful I am for this breakthrough in my life.
Now even as I write this, things in my family is getting better. For the first few times in my life, I begin to communicate with my dad. Since we were Primary 5 or 6, all communication in the family broke down. Our communication was limited to my parents scolding, nagging and telling. I spoke to them occasionally, but there was totally no sharing. I don’t know why but I had this ‘defensive’ gear up when speaking to them. So even now, I’m beginning to share with my father through email, and him with me too. For the first time in my life, I heard my dad told me about his childhood days, which was a breakthrough by many miles. And now, him being his bad tempered self in the past is now slowly starting to communicate with us. I think it’s not easy for him either, considering so many years of scars, and mnay words that shouldn’t have been said. But in Him, one day my home will be heaven on Earth.
I love God. I love my church. I love my family. I love my cell group. I love my cell group leader. I love my friends. I love life. There’s no greater joy than to live in Him everyday. Dear Mingli, I think I’m feeling! Hahaha
3. Purpose
Before I entered the Church, I had a vague idea of what purpose was. I knew it as the thing that ‘you would do if you had all the money and time in the world’. I knew it as an important thing, for it was our reason for existing, and our reason for living, for it meant the difference between a fulfilled and joyful life, and a depressing and meaningless one. There was a problem for me though. Inasmuch as I understood the purpose of purpose, I didn’t know how to find out what my purpose was. The motivational ‘gurus’ I had read about told me to think up my own purpose.
But only recently did I realize this; If I don’t believe I had a Creator and was created for a reason, the question of purpose was meaningless. Even the famous psychologist, Sigmund Freud, said that a belief in the meaning of life rises and falls of a belief in God. He was an atheist. When I looked back, I realized how dumb I was. There was really no point in looking for the meaning of things if I had believed that life had no meaning.
This year with Him had helped me understand what life truly was about. I used to live feeling so uncertain and worried about the future, but today I can’t wait for the future! I used to look into the future with fear, but now I look with anticipation. I’m just so excited about what’s coming, and I look forward to the day where I can have complete understanding of what specific purpose I was brought here for. But till then, I prepare and I wait. Is life great or is life great? Or is life great? The answer to the question that has evaded all philosophers (the meaning of life) finds itself in a humble looking book called the Bible.
4. Paying the Price.
I had never received Christ in the belief that I’m supposed to be blessed materially after I believe in Him. If someone had actually told me that about Christ, I wouldn’t have believed him.
One thing I always knew about myself: My laziness will be my greatest obstacle to my success. Before I had known Him, I knew this fact, but I couldn’t do anything much about it. My feelings and inclinations were taking control of my life. I knew that great people were never subject to their feelings, but I still couldn’t do anything about it. Everyday, I would still laze around; I would spend excessive time playing games; I would give in to my cravings and spend unneeded money.
Even after I became a Christian, my feelings and my cravings still had power over me; but it was different this time round. Over time, I had grown spiritual muscles to fight them. I had more power over myself. I began to develop discipline, slowly but surely. Even as I write this, I have made a decision to stop playing certain games. I made a decision to not give in to my cravings. I’m not perfect yet, but everyday I try to the best I can. Praise God.
I believe one (I say one) of the reasons people don’t believe in Christ is because it requires paying a huge price. Christianity is a hard truth. Christ wants nothing less than all of us. He says we must give Him our full commitment. He says we must humble ourselves before Him. But to many, it’s too high a price to pay to believe, to commit, to let go of pride. Contrast it to some other beliefs, like some astral traveling thing I’ve heard about recently, people believe it easily: there’s no price to pay. It’s a ‘cool’ thing. I think I can be straight about this. It’s not easy being a follower of Christ; there’s a humongous price to pay; but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
5. Some misconceptions about Christianity.
Two misconceptions I’ve heard about Christianity is this:
a. God is a genie.
No one says this out loud, but I believe a lot of people actually believe that if a loving God exists, their every prayer, every wish should be granted. “God didn’t answer my prayer, therefore he probably doesn’t exist.” It sounds like the height of arrogance. It sounds like a spoilt child refusing to acknowledge his/her father because the father refuses to buy a toy for him/her. It sounds like childish rebellion. If your father loves you, he wouldn’t give you everything you want, because it’s him that knows what’s best for you.
b. Religion is where people run to when they’re desperate.
I have no say on religions, but that statement encompasses like 5% of what Christianity is about. It’s true; God is our refuge, but He isn’t only our refuge. I didn’t choose to believe because I needed a ‘support’ system somewhere. I’m not a believer now because I require some place to ‘anchor’ myself as a person. I am a believer now because I believe Christ to be the truth. It’s true that I can run to Him when I’m tired, when I’m down, but I’m not that stupid to believe in Him just because He provides some benefit to my emotional life. I’m more rational than that.
Even along this year, I’ve met this amazing person whom I want to take this time to honor now: My cell group leader. I remember I wrote a post about her some weeks back, but I just want to even take this time to thank her, for who she is. Mingli, you’re the best! I’ve seen so many leader wannabes in school. Among all of them, you’re not the smartest; you don’t look most the part, but hands down, you’re the best leader I’ve had. You’re extremely sharp, assertive and sensitive but above all, you’re loving. You’re the most perfect imperfect person I’ve had in such close proximity in my life. Haha. I’m truly blessed to have you as a spiritual leader.
Pastor always said the greatest miracle begins in the act of receiving Him into our lives, I never understood why. He always said,” Today when you receive Him, the greatest miracle is going to happen, your life will be transformed!” But when I look back today; I’ll never forget the day I received Him into my life; I’ll never forget the day that I attended my first cell group meeting; I’ll never forget the love. Truly, today I have seen the greatest miracle. My life is not some drama or some story worthy of the headlines in the papers. But nevertheless, my life is no less than a miracle. Life IS a miracle.
posted by - W309 - at 5:31 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home